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Thursday, 18 November 2010

Being deep in thought

why should we need to know the answer of the Life, Universe, and Everything. The giant supercomputer "Deep Thought" has already spent six and half million years to get the answer for us. But nobody understands what the answer means. http://benchu.com/blog/?cat=9
Based on FluidityTheme Redesigned by Kaushal Sheth
My first run through my three Findings chapters was literally just that - or at least a brisk jog to gather together the data and developing understandings under the main themes. It was a way of 'getting it all together' as simultaneously as possible in order to be able to grasp the whole. The 'whole' was not just my interpretations of the mentor experience, but also the underlying philosophy that underpinned the research. It was a mad dash to have the 'whole' in my hands before being freed up to consider the parts again. I felt subject to considerable momentum, always wishing I was writing the next chapter.

Now that I'm writing about what I actually did, and am still immersed in doing, I'm suddenly paralysed and thrown into a state of deep thought. I read about the experiences of other phenomenological researchers and how the very act of putting 'what you did' into words becomes paradoxical because of the very unmethodical nature of coming to grasp the essence of experiences. I revisit my findings and themes - how did I get to that point? No amount of accounting for ways of working with the data can quite represent my mental processes and the experience of intutively feeling one's way through.